Quarantined Tweets, Pride and Prejudice Edition
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| Illustration from Pride and Prejudice, 1895 edition, by C.E. Brock (via) |
It is a truth universally acknowledged that those under lockdown turn to social media to vent about it.
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@elizabethbenreads
April the 5th, 1812
“Stay-at-home order is suiting me just fine. No chance of encountering any rude persons, and plenty of time to read good books. Kind of missing the opportunity to trade zingers with undeserving toffs when I’m in public though.”
April the 5th, 1812
“Stay-at-home order is suiting me just fine. No chance of encountering any rude persons, and plenty of time to read good books. Kind of missing the opportunity to trade zingers with undeserving toffs when I’m in public though.”
@lydddddddiabee
April the 5th, 1812
“OMG @elizabethbenreads when did you get a Twitter?????????”
April the 5th, 1812
“OMG @elizabethbenreads when did you get a Twitter?????????”
@wickhamthewickedbutlikeinacoolway has started following @lydddddddiabee.
@pemberleyestates has blocked @wickhamthewickedbutlikeinacoolway.
@georgiana_d has blocked @wickhamthewickedbutlikeinacoolway.
@mrsbennetoflongbourn
April the 5th, 1812
“What a horrid situation we are all in! So devastating! So trying! Such pains as I have in my side and flutterings in my chest and probably also a fever of at least 100.4! We shall all die of this terrible malady, even Mr. Bennet, and then @thereverendmrcollins will get Longbourn and what SHALL become of us all?? You know I cannot wear a mask, I have never been able to abide anything over my face, I cannot have such a terrible —
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April the 5th, 1812
“What a horrid situation we are all in! So devastating! So trying! Such pains as I have in my side and flutterings in my chest and probably also a fever of at least 100.4! We shall all die of this terrible malady, even Mr. Bennet, and then @thereverendmrcollins will get Longbourn and what SHALL become of us all?? You know I cannot wear a mask, I have never been able to abide anything over my face, I cannot have such a terrible —
[This tweet has been truncated for exceeding the character limit.]
@pemberleyestate
April the 6th, 1812
“Exercised the horses for the first time since my last absence to London. Finding solitude confined and unvarying but glad that @georgiana_d is here for company. She is no longer allowed to name horses in my absence. Will not be caught dead riding Merrylegs again.
April the 6th, 1812
“Exercised the horses for the first time since my last absence to London. Finding solitude confined and unvarying but glad that @georgiana_d is here for company. She is no longer allowed to name horses in my absence. Will not be caught dead riding Merrylegs again.
@fineeyedcaroline
April the 6th, 1812
“@pemberleyestate — la! How manly of you to exercise your own horses and how thrilling! You’re so funny. Wish we were all there at P with you. Missing @georgiana_d desperately. You should see me in my mask these days, what larks. Only eyes are visible. That’s your thing though right?
April the 6th, 1812
“@pemberleyestate — la! How manly of you to exercise your own horses and how thrilling! You’re so funny. Wish we were all there at P with you. Missing @georgiana_d desperately. You should see me in my mask these days, what larks. Only eyes are visible. That’s your thing though right?
@misterbingley
April the 7th, 1812
“Netherfield seems so cut off from all our neighbors right now! Wishing I could host another ball for everyone. Totally everyone and no one in particular. I love all my neighbors equally. Did I say love? Haha I meant like. Don’t @ me Caroline.”
April the 7th, 1812
“Netherfield seems so cut off from all our neighbors right now! Wishing I could host another ball for everyone. Totally everyone and no one in particular. I love all my neighbors equally. Did I say love? Haha I meant like. Don’t @ me Caroline.”
@missjbennet has started following @misterbingley.
@fineeyedcaroline has blocked @missjbennet.
@thereverendmrcollins
April the 8th, 1812
“We at Huntsford Parsonage are suffering deeply without the scintillating presence of @ladycatherinedebourghofrosingspark but at least I have my bees to tend! My dear Charlotte has informed me that they require 12 or more hours of constant care in the garden during these trying times.”
April the 8th, 1812
“We at Huntsford Parsonage are suffering deeply without the scintillating presence of @ladycatherinedebourghofrosingspark but at least I have my bees to tend! My dear Charlotte has informed me that they require 12 or more hours of constant care in the garden during these trying times.”
@ladycatherinedebourghofrosingspark
April the 9th, 1812
“This quarantine is most inconvenient! What have we come to, when the nobility and gentry may not even pay calls upon their dependents to grace them with their presence? Are the shades of England to be thus polluted? You will not catch me dead wearing a mask like a peasant. I call upon the Prime Minist…”
[This tweet has been truncated for exceeding the character limit.]
April the 9th, 1812
“This quarantine is most inconvenient! What have we come to, when the nobility and gentry may not even pay calls upon their dependents to grace them with their presence? Are the shades of England to be thus polluted? You will not catch me dead wearing a mask like a peasant. I call upon the Prime Minist…”
[This tweet has been truncated for exceeding the character limit.]
@thereverendmrcollins
April the 9th, 1812
“Oh, your Ladyship @ladycatherinedebourghofrosingspark, no one would ever imagine YOU should have to wear a mask like the rest of us paltry humans! The idea is unthinkable! Hahahahaha here’s the link to my Zoom sermon on Sunday, thank you so much for watching and listening there’s a donate button underneath thank you.”
April the 9th, 1812
“Oh, your Ladyship @ladycatherinedebourghofrosingspark, no one would ever imagine YOU should have to wear a mask like the rest of us paltry humans! The idea is unthinkable! Hahahahaha here’s the link to my Zoom sermon on Sunday, thank you so much for watching and listening there’s a donate button underneath thank you.”
@elizabethbenreads
April the 10th, 1812
“Need some new book suggestions! I’m not going to say my sisters are driving me crazy, but… I need some new book suggestions.”
April the 10th, 1812
“Need some new book suggestions! I’m not going to say my sisters are driving me crazy, but… I need some new book suggestions.”
”@missmarybenwasreadingbeforeyouwere
April the 10th, 1812
“Reflecting upon the loss of virtue in a female. Rereading Sermons to Young Ladies by Rev. Fordyce. Not even looking out the window at the mass of wickedness and prob tons of germs out there. Certain young women could do well to follow my example.”
April the 10th, 1812
“Reflecting upon the loss of virtue in a female. Rereading Sermons to Young Ladies by Rev. Fordyce. Not even looking out the window at the mass of wickedness and prob tons of germs out there. Certain young women could do well to follow my example.”
@elizabethbenreads
April the 10th, 1812
“Need some new book suggestions that don’t include Fordyce’s Sermons to Young Ladies. Tx.”
April the 10th, 1812
“Need some new book suggestions that don’t include Fordyce’s Sermons to Young Ladies. Tx.”
@definitelynotfitzwilliamdarcy has started following @elizabethbenreads.
@definitelynotfitzwilliamdarcy
April the 11th, 1812
“Please stop DM’ing me asking if this is a fake account created for stealth-following. It is definitely not. I don’t even know who @elizabethbenreads is anyway. Probably beneath me. Definitely not handsome. …Eyes are tolerable above that mask, though.”
April the 11th, 1812
“Please stop DM’ing me asking if this is a fake account created for stealth-following. It is definitely not. I don’t even know who @elizabethbenreads is anyway. Probably beneath me. Definitely not handsome. …Eyes are tolerable above that mask, though.”
okay but Darcy blocking Wickham is EVERYTHING
ReplyDeleteHe WOULD though
DeleteThis did make me chuckle. Thanks for the laugh Amy!! I needed it :D
ReplyDeleteThank you!! Don't we all, these days?
DeleteThis is awesome!!!! So perfectly like the characters!!! You should do the rest of the Jane Austen books!
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I could do it for every JA book, but I have been thinking about a general classics series!
DeleteThis reminds me of the P&P characters' inboxes - but funnier. Can we all appreciate Mr. Collins' adopting Zoom sermons (AND a "donate" button)? This will be giving me a good chuckle for a while... and with your permission, I think I'll send some of the P&P95 Forever crowd your way (assuming that they aren't already all following you).
ReplyDeleteIndubitably, please do!!
DeleteTHIS IS GOLD!! The whole @wickhamthewickedbutlikeinacoolway was the best XD
ReplyDeleteThat was HILARIOUS and perfect dose of humor for this poor quarantined soul. *Applause*
ReplyDeleteok this made my day 😂.
ReplyDeleteHaha yesss!! Way more interesting than anything I've seen on social media for the past week. XD
ReplyDeleteVery amusing- I could just see the P&P95 characters tweeting these!
ReplyDeleteOh, Amy - this was great! So so hilarious!! Thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteLOVED this post!! Miss "fine-eyed" Bingley had me rolling 😂. I only recently discovered your blogs and am eagerly reading every post I can, as well as sharing it with my fellow P&P-fanatic friends! 😆 WONDERFUL blogging Miss Dashwood, please do not stop!!
ReplyDelete